David Schachter’s Top 10 Divorce Survival Tips

The following represents the methodology to which David subscribes and a summary of some of the best divorce tips that David and his mentors have compiled.

 1. Not all advice is good advice. Everyone think that they are divorce experts because they themselves went through a divorce or they know someone who went through one. Keep in mind that every case is unique and follow the advice of your lawyer.

2. To find a reputable lawyer, check with reputable sources. Personal referrals are important, but because every case and client is different, objective credentials are helpful too. You can also research attorneys of any specialty on the web by viewing client reviews on websites such as AVVO.

3. Use common sense and beware of a lawyer who tells you things he or she thinks you want to hear. There are no guarantees or promises a lawyer can honestly make about the outcome of your case.

4. Chemistry between a lawyer and a client is important. Choose a lawyer that you respect. You will need to depend on that lawyer’s advice and guidance with respect to the most important issues in your life.

5. When possible avoid the impulse to be unnecessarily punitive and vindictive towards your soon-to-be ex-spouse. You most likely will still have to deal with your former spouse long after the case and lawyers go away, especially if you share children.

6. Take court mandated alternative dispute resolution seriously. Sometimes you have no choice but to fight. Often, however, trials represent the failures of the lawyers or the parties. At the end of the day, you have to pay for the trial and are stuck with the results a judge thinks is best for you.

7. Be patient. It took a long time to make your mess; it will take awhile to clean it up.

8. There is a difference between being optimistic and realistic with regard to expectations at the conclusions of one’s case. Optimists consider the best scenarios as likely outcomes too often, and frequently come away from the divorce process disappointed. Realists, usually those who accept that there is no “justice” up front, are more likely to leave the divorce process feeling like they were treated fairly.

9. A client must recognize that the consequences of some of their decisions are uncorrectable. A good lawyer will work hard to fix past mistakes, but he or she cannot always correct the consequences of bad decisions.

10. You are entitled to have your phone calls returned promptly, your questions answered honestly, and a billing statement provided regularly or upon demand.